Important Stuff: Spiderpants

"m2m, apex detective" (m2m) 02/13/2016 at 07:33 • Filed to: spiders, pants, thisorthat, questions, realquestions

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Fig. A (left): Normie spider wearing pants; FIg B (right): Shy spider wearing multiple pairs of pants

What is the correct way for a spider to wear pants?

Most of our male specimen use ‘em to cover our butts, dicks and legs ... the pants, that is, not the spiders. But how would spiders employ them? Since they technically sport 8 legs, none of them really armlike, should they not wear four pairs?

... should spiders wear highly complex pants featuring a large back piece to accomodate the buttocks/rear end, and two pairs of legs on each side?

Should spiders get to run around naked all day while we don’t?

Important stuff that needs answers.

Echo51 > m2m, apex detective 02/13/2016 at 07:40

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They should share your pants. Share the body warmth maaaan!

(You can all thank me for this nightmare later)

duurtlang > Echo51 02/13/2016 at 07:45

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Talking about sharing body warmth, are you familiar with this ? You’re Danish, right? It’s the Danish version of what I’m participating in starting Monday.

Tekamul > m2m, apex detective 02/13/2016 at 08:22

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Choice A. Pants have 2 legs. Even people with only 1 leg wear pants with 2 legs, and fill the other with a prosthetic, or tie it off. 2 legs is the rule we all live with, even spiders.

Echo51 > duurtlang 02/13/2016 at 08:49

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Yeah i saw a friend mention wanting to go on it a few days ago on FB, but roadtripping never really was my forté. Still nice to see such stuff get planned and executed!

Clemsie McKenzie > m2m, apex detective 02/13/2016 at 09:07

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Choice C: 4 pants legs, 4 “arms”. They have the double of everything, let’s respect the proportions!

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > m2m, apex detective 02/13/2016 at 09:44

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BJ > Tekamul 02/13/2016 at 10:25

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Yes. Also, this covers the spider butt, which is what’s really important.

Otto-the-Croatian-'Whoops my Volvo is a sedan' > m2m, apex detective 02/13/2016 at 10:34

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Frankly I hate spiders and this drawing is too detailed and disgusting. They should all die in a fire is what they should do, I tell you.

Baeromez > m2m, apex detective 02/13/2016 at 11:44

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What about centipedes?

m2m, apex detective > Baeromez 02/14/2016 at 10:12

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I’m partial to #1, as only s/he gets to potentially crap the pants.

m2m, apex detective > Echo51 02/14/2016 at 10:18

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I almost ate a pretty big spider once ... it had crept into my favourite kiddie mug stored upside down. It was too big to fit the shelf, so it left an opening for spiderbro to get in.

Anyway, I prepped one of these bad boyys with cold milk, in which that stuff totally doesn’t dissolve. When my tongue met something solid in my mouth, I thought it was a clump of Ovaltine™, nothing unusual. Decided to push it against my palate to crush it ... that’s when it pushed back. Terrible thoughts were had and milk/Ovaltine was spat everywhere. Spiderbro had lost a leg and was pissed and weakened at the same time. He had to go, as he had scarred me for life. I actually scratched my tongue clean after that.

Turns out I should have checked the mug before pouring something in. Duh.

m2m, apex detective > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 02/14/2016 at 10:19

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Damn, Spiderman is gettin’ way too casual these days!

m2m, apex detective > Clemsie McKenzie 02/14/2016 at 10:20

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Yeah. Pretty sure we’d have 5-legged pants if we had five legs. *nods wildly*

m2m, apex detective > Otto-the-Croatian-'Whoops my Volvo is a sedan' 02/14/2016 at 10:21

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With or without pants, though? ... and if it’s with pants, how’d they wear ‘em when they all die in a fire? D: